Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You Tell Anyone About Our Secret, I'll Kill Your Dog

Remember it's okay to say no, even to an adult. Safety is more important than good manners, and don't you ever worry about quality control regarding production value or character development.

Thanks to

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Breasts: Happy Together, Let's Keep it That Way

A cute, clever add out of the Netherlands to raise awareness for breast Cancer.  Conceived by Grey Amsterdam Agency(great homepage animation), and directed by Chris Palmer of Gorgeous Productions.

Thanks to Addland for the original posting.

A Devoted Dog Remembers

Gotta love dogs. We certainly do and its stories like these that illustrate how worthwhile the canine/human bond is.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

thanks to Animal Ark for this one.

"Where the Wild Things Are" Free Streaming Soundtrack

I've been listening to this while writing today and personally am enjoying it greatly.  Like the movie appears, the music delivers a lovely mix of melancholy, light youthful frivolity and kindness to the ear.  Give it a listen and see if it doesn't downright sooth your coffee-d soul.

Thanks to The Daily What for the heads up.

Monday, September 28, 2009

It's Your Ego, Dummy.

I am so glad I never fell into the trap so many slaves-to-the-self do, y'know, the trap of the "ego".   

How have you done it, you ask?  Well, every morning I stare through the mirror into my bloodshot, hungover eyes and scream silently from the top of my lungs, "What have you done?!" over and over until I come to curled into a ball in the shower, my skin pruned and rippled like the back of Kirstie Alley's thighs, having washed away any sense of self, or responsibility.  This ritual is repeated every morning and seems to suit me well, like a Hickey-Freeman.

How Well Do You Remember a Face?

This test is fun. I did surprisingly well (95% and 85%) considering  how suspect I generally am of my eye-Q.

Thanks to the Daily What for the link.

Dom Deluise is Reincarnated in India

Thank Krishna! My prayers/meditations have finally been answered: One of my favorite comics and food lovers has finally come back from the dead! Apparently, Dom Deluise has been reincarnated in Indonesia as a teensy-weensy little 19.2 lbs baby boy, born on Sept 21st by cesarean.

At first I was a little disappointed in the mother's choice to go under the knife, but apparently, they don't make enough epidural to create a comfort zone when popping out a baby this size, even if it is the second coming of Captain Chaos.

The "official" reason given for the baby's size is said to be due to the mother's diabetes and the resulting excessive glucose from his mother during pregnancy. "He is greedy and has a strong appetite, nursing almost nonstop," Dr. Sitanggang said.

I know the truth and couldn't be happier.  Long live, Dom Deluise, AKA Akbar Risuddin.

Source:  Yahoo News

Jesus the Musical

Does it make me a bad person that I think this is funny? I can't wait to see how he rises up from the MTA Bus Terminal.

Really, I'm a good person.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

They Just Don't Build Em Like They Used to...Thank God

Check out this great video from the Insureance Institute for Highway Safety, where they film a controlled crash test of a '09 Chevy Malibu slamming head-first into a '59 Bel-Aire.  The results are eye opening.

Recession 2009 IPod Case -- Brilliant

So you've spent the two bills on the phone plus the buck twenty-five on your monthly service but did you budget in an over-priced, gaudy case for your iPhone?  Don't even think about it!  You don't need a co-signer for this genius little wrapper.

We all know that even the basic rubber and plastic cases are way over-priced for the production cost, aren't recyclable, and lend zero cache to the owner.  But this pulp mash sleeve?  It brands the user and phone with green, recyclable hip-ness, and just a tiny splash of irreverence.   Are you really going to spend twenty five bones when just one will give you almost as good of protection?  And, you can get it personalized with Sharpy™!

So if you're into not wasting money, or contributing to global warming, get one of these and give your iPhone a squeeze.  It's practically the same as hugging a tree!

Contact the manufacturer here and get them to produce more!

Original story found at Consumerist

Non Therapeutic Tools of Grieving

I love this artist's wry collection.  Real world objects that fetish-ize the emotions attached to loss and need.  I really feel that for such a clear directive, the artist maintains a deft touch and never loses the connection with the viewer's sense of humor.

Check out the entire collection here.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Happy Birthday, Baby. Now Go Die in the Street.

I can see it now.

GF  Happy birthday, baby.
ME  Wow, you shouldn't have.

I unwrap present.  Inside box is the "Duoped". 

ME  Wow, really you shouldn't have.  Um...what is it?
GF  It's a "Duoped".
ME  Yeah, I see.  Um...
GF  Well, go on, get on it!
ME  Um, what?...

I try to get on it in our living room.  The rug impedes any movement.  I fall.

GF   Not here, silly!  Outside in the street!
ME  In the street?  In Brooklyn?  Outside?  By the gang headquarters?
GF  Stop being silly!  Now go outside and give it a whirl. 

I head outside with the GF in tow.  I try to mount the Duoped.  I fall off, stumble and catch myself on a light pole.

GF  I don't think you're doing it right.  You're peddling too hard.

I try again.  I fall off, twist my ankle and scrape my palms on the tar just like in grade school recess.  I'm feeling pretty awesome at this point.

GF  Be careful, you're going to break it.
ME  Babe, maybe I should do this later.
GF  Really? 
ME  Babe, I'm bleeding.
GF  This is what the therapist talks about.  Your fear of commitment.
ME  Babe, I just don't want to get hurt, here.
GF  Five years?  We've been engaged for five year.  Five years?
ME  Okay, okay.  I'll figure it out.

I get back on the death-machine.  I manage to peddle one successful revolution and stay upright.  This leads to more revolutions and a choppy, barely manageable forward motion.  She claps.

GF Yay!

I stop, beaming like a  jackass because I think I've made it through the fire.

GF Okay, we need eggs from the store.
ME  Okay.

I try to hand her the duoped.  She looks at it like its a dead cat.

GF  No, ride over to the store.  It's getting late, it'll be quicker.
ME  But, Babe, it's downhill to the store.
GF  I know the store is downhill.  The ride back up will be good exercise.
ME  But babe, I'm going to eat shit on the way down.  The only way I'm getting back up that hill is in an ambulance.
GF  Why do you have to swear?  Why do you always have to turn it ugly?
ME  I'm just trying to say that I'm going to get hurt.
GF  You don't like the duoped.
ME  That's not true.  I...I really love the duoped.

She stares at me suspiciously.  She's practically looking right through my eyes into my soul.  She knows I'm lying.  All I want to do is take the fucking duoped and shove it up the ass of whomever invented it.

ME  Babe, I'm just worried that all you're going to get is a bunch of broken eggs.
GF  So, that's what this is all about?  You think I'd be an unfit mother?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mickey Rourke's face

Nuff said.

Cooking up Some Hot Bytes

Okay, so maybe I've been known to waste countless hours, even days, on an absurd project that has no relevance or true value -- one that inevitably leaves me scratching my head a few days later, wondering, "I spent three weeks on that thing? WTF was I smoking?" No wonder my friends want me to join a 12-step."

Well, at least I've never had to look into the mirror after wittling away on a Custom Mini-Cooker PC.   The shwag over in the Czech republic must be some cosmic catnip, Boiyeeee.  I just hope they're using the table saw stone cold sober.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Running from the Crackheads on a Beach Cruiser

Core77's Big, Overpriced Beach Cruiser
We like well crafted things here at BTCAW. Hell, we appreciate the time, the effort and the passion that goes into fine work, whether it's a good cup of Joe or a beautifully engineered building.  And while the peeps over at Core 77 have amazing taste and talent, I can't help but take a look at their latest collaborative venture and think, "Really?  A $1,600.00 beach cruiser?  Really."   Sure the details are tight, and I wish I built myself one, but a Brooks Saddle on a fucking beach cruiser?  A city beach cruiser.  I think I get the joke.
Y'know what's even funnier?  Some douche-bag Trustafarian  dropping 16 Benjies on this beached whale and cruising around Bushwick like he's still riding around the campus up at Antioch while some strung-out, out of work construction worker leaps out of the shadows and jacks his ass and turns around and sells me the bike for 40 bucks -- because even a crackhead knows a beach crusier isn't worth more than that.
It's like building a rickshaw out of Agarwood and Ebony and pawning them off on the producers of this video as $5,000.00 Richshaws .  Holy shit, I'm onto something... thanks Core 77!