Friday, November 20, 2009

Ready to Puke in Your Mouth?

I woke up this morning, brewed some coffee, toasted some bread and lathered on a nice swab of butter -- yummy, fatty butter. I brought it all over to the computer, clicked onto google news and within about 2 minutes proceeded to toss chunks onto my keyboard because of this story.

Apparently a gang of entrepreneurs in Peru are going around killing people, extracting their fat from the torsos and selling it on the black market. Mmmm-yummy!

They lure people with fake job offers, kill them, behead them, remove their limbs and then hang the bodies over lit candles to warm the torsos just enough to liquefy their fat so it drips into catch basins below. Are you hurling yet? Jesus Christ. And I thought I was morally corrupt for eating the occasional big mac

Authorities don't really understand the "why" but they do know that they caught a guy at the airport with two one liter bottles filled with human butter. (Just ralfed again.) Apparently, six people have been detained and they claim to have murdered over sixty victims in the past thirty years. It's crazy.

The alleged killers are claiming that they're selling the fat on the black market as a cosmetic ingredient, but authorities and experts are skeptical. Human fat it seems, is already readily available from living donors, from fatballs who don't exercise or eat correctly and turn to the plastic surgery industry to suck it out of them.

Anyhoot, the whole thing is creepy, and has ruined my breakfast, if not my eating habits forever. Hopefully, your stomach is stronger.

1 comment:

  1. this is why i tell my wife to stay off the subway.